Pour Out Your Soul, Fill The Void

I personally suffer from Depression & Anxiety with the occassional panic attack. So You are not alone. Feel as if you can’t talk to friends or family about it if you have to, I greatly advise to see a professional find out from your doctor who is out there that can help. The first time I was depressed (though not clinically, I knew the reason I was and that I might be. So maybe in a way i didn’t think i was really depressed, but just really sad like I had never been before.
This is when (at some point) I got into beading and other crafts. Things like this can be therapy in a way. They quiet whatever is giving me an attack and so on. I did tell my doctor and whatever the medication was, was not the right one for me I think once it kicked in and made me worse and more panic-y. (This was on a Thanksgiving morning so I really was NOT happy that day or thankful the way I was feeling. Also there is no hotline for those with anxiety/depression to call there’s only the suicide hotline which when i called (not planning to do so but looking I was in a real panic) had a messege for those who were thinking of commiting suicide to call some other number or go to the emergency room.
What the beginning says about sleeping, eating (well i didn’t eat much, never was hungry & lost weight. i would end up only eating because I knew it was breakfast time or lunch etc.). I keep a journal (actually more than one. THere’s a dail or semi daily one. I have the 2 that I work on my poetry in, and one with assorted stuff. (besically i even collect journals! I already have my daily one for next year (& hope that the 300+ pages will be enough to last at least half the eyar for those longer entries. Mainy I write all sorts in it. Movie reviews, What’s gone on, any ideas I may get for crafts and so on. I have also been working on a story since 2011 then came up with an idea for another (only I have only notes for that one) and now I’ve been working on another so that’s 3 stories simutaneaously and my blogging is getting in the way! 😉 The first one I started I’m a bit stuck on as well I forget some of what I wanted to write so I may have to rework the story (& trying to get one page right is the reason I lost some of my ideas).
There have been those that have said I needed to get a life, when they see me reading, or writing Or if I tell them I like making things like jewelry. I tell them to go get a hobby & they say I’m too busy. Apparently they think being (or at least sounding) busy means they are important. This to me, means likely they are not. hobbies are supposed to be a way for you to relax (though with the beading, sometimes I can get frustrated but that’s for another time)
Anyway… there are many ‘therapies’ for Depression (or what may feel like it) but as I said if you feel as if you do not have friends or family that you can talk to, (& maybe can’t afford to get proper help) I’m not a professional but I will try to help you from experience. (which sometimes can be better as we’d might understand each other more)


I’m not going to lie, I’ve been depressed in the past. I’ve looked in the mirror without being able to understand the person looking back at me.

What do you want? What makes you happy? Why do you feel this void inside regardless of how things appear on the outside?

During these slumps I spent most of my time sleeping, eating out of boredom, devouring whole seasons of shows and consuming whatever I could to satisfy the feeling, or lack there of, inside me.
I felt unfulfilled and useless.

I still feel this way sometimes but I’ve learned how to push through it with one simple question that I ask myself every morning.

Do I want to be a consumer, or a producer?

Logically, if you feel an emptiness inside you, you are missing something that will make you feel complete again. I learned that this isn’t the case.


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